IF I DID IT
If I did it, I’d commit it,
So the crime would leave no mess.
If I did it, I’d exhibit
Some compulsion to confess.
If I did it, I would pitch it
As a graphic, gory book,
If I did it, I’d revisit
Every slash my weapon took.
If I did it, I’d submit it,
Knowing all the guilt I’d feel,
If I did it, I would bid it
As a seven-figure deal.
If I did it, I would hit it:
How a killer sells his wares.
If I did it, I’d admit it,
Spill my guts, as I did theirs.
If I did it, which I didn’t!
I would carefully have planned it,
But if I DID do it, and you knew it,
Which of us, then, is the bandit?
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