MISTER DONALD RUMSFELD!
I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT THREE YEARS AGO, WHEN HOST VINCENT PRICE CALLED MY NAME, HANDED ME THE SCEPTER AND LED ME TOWARD THE AHOY RUNWAY... IT WAS TRUE SHOCK AND AWE, THE GREATEST KNOWN UNKNOWN OF MY LIFE.
RIGHT NOW, I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE THAT THE BUTTERFLIES ARE FLUTTERING INSIDE OUR EIGHT FINALISTS. THEY STAYED UP LAST NIGHT, POLISHING THEIR MOVES, WORRYING ABOUT UNKNOWN UNKNOWNS, WONDERING IF THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE THE ASS HOLE OF THE YEAR.
I URGE YOU TO VOTE AND TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO VOTE. AFTER ALL, MY GOODNESS, THIS IS STILL A DEMOCRACY.
AND NOW, AND MAY THE BEST ASSHOLE WIN!
I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT NIGHT THREE YEARS AGO, WHEN HOST VINCENT PRICE CALLED MY NAME, HANDED ME THE SCEPTER AND LED ME TOWARD THE AHOY RUNWAY... IT WAS TRUE SHOCK AND AWE, THE GREATEST KNOWN UNKNOWN OF MY LIFE.RIGHT NOW, I CAN TELL YOU FROM EXPERIENCE THAT THE BUTTERFLIES ARE FLUTTERING INSIDE OUR EIGHT FINALISTS. THEY STAYED UP LAST NIGHT, POLISHING THEIR MOVES, WORRYING ABOUT UNKNOWN UNKNOWNS, WONDERING IF THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE THE ASS HOLE OF THE YEAR. BUT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO YOU, THE GENERAL PUBLIC. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
I URGE YOU TO VOTE AND TO CONVINCE OTHERS TO VOTE. AFTER ALL, MY GOODNESS, THIS IS STILL A DEMOCRACY.
AND NOW, AND MAY THE BEST ASSHOLE WIN!
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